If I’m going to be honest, isn’t it the most common misconception that having a baby makes your relationship stronger? Romance and parenthood certainly hasn’t come in the package that me and Cy were expecting. For example, our first Valentine’s Day as parents. In Wagamama (obvz) waiting for our food, and we get a slight whiff of what could only be baby poo. Yep. Top to bottom, Amelie was covered. Who said romance was dead?
Pre-baby, we had it all – weekends away, regular date nights, holding hands instead of fighting over who gets to push the pram this time. Long story short – we had time for each other. My idea of romance was visiting London to pick out my favourite flowers at famous markets and riding a bike around our favourite area. Now, a home cooked meal and an early night is the way to my heart. But that little thing is everything. It’s time together, time to catch up over dinner, time to laugh whilst I make the same old mess whilst I eat. You get the gist. As long as you can enjoy each other’s company when given the chance, you are doing something right!
Appreciating your loved one is key! Many bickers have stemmed from one of us saying you didn’t even notice. I did notice, just not out loud. Take it in turns to wash the dishes, make the bed instead of your other half for once, you cook the dinner tonight, a £1 bouquet of tulips from Aldi. Whatever you fancy. It all comes hand in hand with a simple “thank you, I really appreciate that”. You feel good, they feel good. Voila!
I’ll hold my hands up and say, we are terrible at making time for each other. Terrible! But, we’ve been trying to do silly little things that force us to put our phones done for an hour or two. Firstly, we have been binge watching Power. To say we are hooked would be a total understatement – we absolutely love it! It’s an hour of each night that we can snuggle up (cringe all you like) and spend time together. Throw whatever you fancy on Netflix, and it should do the trick! Secondly, we’ve been playing board games with our closest friends. We might sound a bit dry for enjoying this, but we’re not only socialising with each other but also with our friends (without spending a penny… Minus the odd takeaway. Or two). Thirdly, we tried out the new Cupid Box’s that have just launched, and it’s safe to say that we loved it! It’s got all of the cheesey couple goodness in one box – from writing notes to leave around the house for each other, to a pudding that you can make together! It was nice to put our baby down, phones down objective into practice. Lastly, we’ve been trying to take some time to go for long walks with Amelie when neither of us are working. By long walks, I mean a 0.5 mile trip to grab the blue milk that we ran out of this morning and forgot to pick up in the day. But nevertheless, it’s family time!
However, it is equally important to make time for yourself. Me and Cy get on loads better when we’ve had a couple of hours to ourselves to get a little headspace and some time to wind down from the day. I’m a much nicer person to be around once I’ve spent time on my own to write some lists and organise my life. I strongly believe in the quote “you need to love yourself before you can love someone else”. Not in a big-headed I love me kinda way, but in the sense that you need to be happy in yourself to be happy in your relationship. Make sense? Or am I blabbing on again?
Having a baby changes things massively, and I’ll always stand by that! I’ve changed in myself, Cy has changed in himself, we have changed as a couple. It’s the teeny tiny steps that are key with maintaining what’s considered as a healthy relationship. I really hope this helps anyone who feels like they’re the only ones that have no time for each other!