Cue the super soppy post as I ramble on about this eventful year. I started this year off by dragging myself around the Cotswolds with what I thought was the world’s worst hangover. Wrong. It wasn’t until May 11th 2017 that I had an ‘oh shit!’ moment and realised that morning sickness justified my ‘I-only-had-two-glasses-of-wine’ hangover. I remember crying to my doctor on this exact day as 1. I couldn’t even say the word ‘pregnant’ without the water works turning on, and 2. I felt terrible that I had been drinking whilst being (unknowingly) pregnant. After a little feel of my tummy, he had a guess that my podgy belly was a 17 week old bump. Wrong again. After my first scan, I found out that I was in fact 26 weeks pregnant. I then had to drill into myself that people were going to find out some way, so it would probably be best to just announce it myself.
At 18, I was terrified about what people would think of me; and obviously expected the odd snide comment on how ‘(I’d) obviously have a baby young seeing as (my) mum did’. I’ve made and kept some incredible friends this year but my special mention goes to Paige Crowson. My ultimate wing mama. The day I found out, I was frantically searching up ‘how do I look after my offspring when I can barely look after myself’ before discovering this wonderful girl on social media. And there, I spilt my heart out to an absolute stranger; who is now a life-long friend. She talked me through everything – from being a young mum to how I would tell my friends that I was pregnant. If it wasn’t for Paige, I think I would have totally avoided sixth form and had an undercover pregnancy. She encouraged me to be proud of what I was going through, and to enjoy every moment of it. But above all else, she was a friend that had been there herself. She completely understood. Paige – you the best!
From that day onwards, my life completely changed. And all for the better. I mean, me and Cyril did have to cancel our trip to Barcelona, but instead we dug a hole in the sand at Bournemouth beach; so that I could sunbathe with my pregnant tum. A real beach whale, I’m telling you. For the 3 months I had left, I tried to enjoy every moment of pregnancy; despite how uncomfortable the third trimester is.
Once we had reached August, everything became a bit of a waiting game; and I started to feel like a walking time bomb. Although my due date was never accurate, it was just around the corner; and was becoming my biggest fear. I would constantly ask my mum “it’s not that bad though is it?! Surely not?” to which she’d kind of just awkwardly smile and change the subject. Although my nan was constantly reminding me that One Born Every Minute was on every Tuesday, my mum was making me watching anything but. I remember wondering to myself ‘how do you know when it’s time to push?’. I quickly learnt that your body quite literally pushes for you. So much in fact that if the rush hour traffic was any worse, I would have given birth in the car! To this day, I still cannot believe what my body went through; and I am truly amazed at what a woman’s body can do.
If I’m going to make this an honest post, the first few weeks with Amelie were absolute torture. I was a real-life zombie and the worst person to be around. Social media can be a very deceiving thing as you’re only shown a small fraction of someone’s life. Of course I haven’t posted my dramatic break downs or Amelie’s nappy explosions because I’ve wanted people to see the good stuff. But like all people, I’ve definitely gone through the bad times to get to where I am now. At around 8-9 weeks, Amelie got much easier and I was finally able to really enjoy being a mum. I’m pretty sure I have a tantrum-prone little lady on my hands as she’s already having mini paddies when I pop her into her car seat (at 4 months old!!!). According to my family it’s ‘karma’, although I have no idea what they mean by that…
Here I am, ending this year in a way that I had never pictured myself to. I have a little lady who makes my heart so full, an unconditional offer to study Early Education, and friends I would have never made if it wasn’t for my pregnancy. From Charlotte – the one who announced her pregnancy the exact day that I found out I was pregnant, and has been my local wing mama ever since. To Elly – the one who kept me sane whilst we were in hospital recovering from having our tiny babies. To the best friends I already had (Fleur, Chloe and Chloe) – who stuck by me through it all, and continue to include me in every plan they make. You girls are the best! To my mum – who has been through this herself and has provided me with all of the support I could possibly need. To my grandparents – who’s faces light up every time they see Amelie. And, to Cyril – I could not have gone through this with a better person if I tried!
What a year it has been! I have so much planned for 2018, so I’m hoping it will be an even better year. Watch this space. If you’ve made it to the end of this post – thank you for your continuous love and support!