Even if you feel like you are the only one who struggles with certain aspects of parenthood, I can assure you that there are other mums with the same struggles who are thinking the same thing – “is it just me?!”
A common misconception is that having a baby brings you and your partner closer together. Well, that was the first thing that sprung to my mind anyway. Since Amelie was born, me and Cyril bicker like there’s no tomorrow; and it’s always about the stupidest of things. And I mean stupid. There’s a lot of things that we didn’t consider before Amelie arrived – financial constraints, unwanted opinions, family disagreements, sleepless nights taking its toll; just to name a few. It was always about who done the most night feeds or who rescued Amelie from her poo explosion. I told you – stupid things. If having a baby put a strain on you relationship, me too! We have found that it’s important to evenly distribute the parent jobs, and try not to kick up a fuss over who’s had Amelie all day or who’s worked all day. If I’m feeding Amelie then Cyril will do a quick tidy up; or vice versa. An even distribution. We’ve also learnt that it’s best to laugh when a petty argument sparks up, and kind of go “oh my god, are we really doing this again?!”. And then it really depends on what time of the month it is as to how I react. Sorry, Cy!
Outings With A Newborn
Oh how naive I was to once believe that I’d actually have time to get ready before going out. After prepping all of Amelie’s bottles, getting her changing bag packed, feeding her, getting her dressed, and then settling her to sleep?! No chance. Mum bun, no makeup and yesterday’s outfit seems to be a recurring theme at the moment. It may be a hassle to actually get out of the house, but it’s the being out that gives me plenty to do during the ‘quick pop to the shop’. There’s no such thing as popping out anymore. Any trip is a day trip. If you’re struggling to juggle running errands, socialising and being a mum – me too!
To me, standing on the scales is absolute torture. I’d rather not base my body image off of a number (weight or dress size), and instead focus on how I feel when I look in a mirror. My body image is something I’ve really struggled with since having Amelie. There are some lovely people out there who have told me that “(I’m) like an elastic band, and have sprung back to (my) normal size”. I may have lost a lot of my baby weight, but unfortunately nowhere near back to my normal size. I was completely deceived into thinking that this would be the case – 6 weeks postpartum and I’d be back into my size 8 jeans. Sadly not. My hips have widened so much that even if I lost all of my baby weight, those size 8’s are never getting past them. This is why I’m no longer trying to look at the size of my clothing; and focusing more on what fits me best. After all, it’s only you who knows the size of your best jeans.
I never thought I’d have issues with my postpartum body, as I was so body confident when I was pregnant. I loved my bump (despite how tiny it was), and was completely spooked by the jelly belly you get after giving birth. It was clear that my stomach wouldn’t just deflate, but who knew that you’d look like baby number two is on the way for at least a few days after?! I’m in no way trying to make anyone feel like they should be ashamed of their postpartum body as we should be proud of what our body has gone through! Women’s bodies are incredible! The following picture (lol) describes exactly how I felt when I was told to shower after labour, and had to look at myself in the bathroom mirror. Not the prettiest of sights, let’s say. Embrace the mum tum!
If you’re struggling to accept the way you look after having a baby – me too!